okay so this is going to sound weird but fried bologna is actually good.

My grandpa used to make these every time we visited. I thought it was just because he was old and didn’t know how to cook anything else. But then i tried making it for my husband as a joke and now he asks for it like once a week lol.

The thing is you have to actually fry it. Not microwave it. Not just slap cold bologna on bread like a sad school lunch. You fry it until the edges get crispy and it puffs up in the middle and gets these caramelized spots.

First time i made it i didn’t cut the slits in the edges. The bologna curled up into these little bowls and i couldn’t get them to lay flat on the bread. My husband still ate it but it looked ridiculous. Learn from my mistakes.

why this is worth making

 

• Takes maybe 10 minutes total. Faster than ordering takeout and probably cheaper too.
• The crispy edges taste like fancy bacon but it’s just bologna. Something about frying it makes it completely different.
• You probably have everything already. Bologna keeps forever in the fridge and bread is bread.
• Kids eat it without question. Mine won’t touch regular deli meat but they’ll destroy these sandwiches.
• Good hangover food. Not that i would know anything about that obviously.

what you need

 

• 4-6 slices bologna – thick cut is better but regular works fine
• 4 slices bread – white bread is traditional but wheat is okay too
• 2-4 slices cheese – American cheese is what my grandpa used but cheddar melts good
• 2 tablespoons butter – for toasting the bread
• Mustard – yellow mustard or the spicy brown kind, your choice
• Optional stuff: pickles, sliced onion, mayo, lettuce – my grandpa would be mad about the lettuce but whatever

how to make it

 

Prep the bologna. This is important. Take a knife and cut 3 or 4 small slits around the edge of each slice. Like little cuts going from the edge toward the center. Maybe half an inch long. This keeps it from curling up like a bowl when it cooks.

Heat your pan. Use a regular skillet. Medium heat. Let it get hot for a minute or two. You don’t need to add any oil or butter because bologna has enough fat in it already.

 

Fry the bologna. Put as many slices as will fit in your pan. They’ll sizzle right away if the pan is hot enough. Let them cook for about 2-3 minutes without moving them around. You want the bottom to get some color on it.

Flip them. Use a spatula and flip each slice. They should have some brown crispy spots. Cook the other side for another 2-3 minutes.

 

Add the cheese. In the last minute of cooking put a slice of cheese on top of each piece of bologna. Let it melt. I usually put a lid on the pan for like 30 seconds to help it along.

 

Toast your bread. While the bologna is cooking you can toast your bread. I butter both sides and put it in a separate pan. Or just use a toaster if you’re not trying to be fancy. Get it golden brown.

Build the sandwich. Spread mustard on the toasted bread. I use a decent amount but my husband barely uses any. Put the fried bologna with the melted cheese on there. Add whatever else you want. Pickles are good. Onion is good if you’re into that.

 

Eat it hot. These are best right away. The bologna loses its crispiness if you wait too long.

stuff that helps

 

leftovers and storage

 

Honestly these aren’t great as leftovers. The bologna gets weird and rubbery when you reheat it. And the bread gets soggy.

If you have to save it i guess you could keep the components separate. Like store the fried bologna in the fridge and remake the sandwich fresh later. But it’s so quick to make that i just make them fresh every time.

The uncooked bologna obviously keeps in the fridge for a while. Check the package but it’s usually good for a couple weeks after you open it.

questions people always ask

 

 

anyway that’s the whole thing. It’s simple and kind of trashy but in a good way. Mine aren’t perfect either but they taste like visiting my grandpa’s house on saturday mornings.

try it and let me know what you think.

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